The streets were loud and hectic. It was the last day of the year, and fireworks were brazenly displayed across the night sky. One wouldn’t be able to deny that a view from the nineteenth floor of a modern condominium would’ve been gorgeously stunning to behold. But such a view could only spark a wry smile on the face of a young man, who was admiring the colorful display behind the window of his home. With a can of beer in his hand, he felt a mild sense of relief that he didn’t have to fight his way through the crowded streets, or scream his lungs out in a countdown party.
“Hey, what are you looking at?” asked a soft feminine voice from his back.
“The fireworks,” he replied her without turning around. “They’re beautiful, aren’t they?” But his rhetorical question was lightly received with a soft giggle from the gentle woman.
“You’re supposed to watch them with your friends or your loved ones, my dear,” she remarked, as she approached the man and placed one of her arms across his shoulders.
“Well, I have you,” he answered her.
“That doesn’t count,” she chuckled again.
“Why?” the man teased her. “Don’t you like me?”
“That’s a silly question,” she retorted. The woman sauntered away from him, and went back to sit on the couch.
Finishing the last bit of his beer, the wistful man walked out from the living room, and headed straight towards the kitchen. He realized that the trash can was almost full, and the dirty dishes were still soaking in the sink. A sigh escaped from his mouth as he began to wash the plates, yet he decided to wait until the next morning to take out the dreary trash. The young man was tired, both mentally and physically.
The alluring woman was no longer sitting on the same place, as he returned to an empty room, devoid of any presence. However, the man knew where to find her. Since it was way past bedtime, there was nowhere else that one would go, except for the bedroom. And as he had expected, a slim figure was indeed sitting on top of his soft bed, waiting for him to drift into his lonely dream.
“Are you going to sleep?” she asked.
“Well, it’s pretty late,” he answered.
“No, it’s not,” she argued. “Surely there is still some time to read some books, browse the internet, or play some games.”
“Really?” the man scoffed at her suggestion. “Do you actually like it when I do those things?”
“Can’t say I like them,” she commented. “But I don’t hate them either.”
“I still think we should go to sleep,” he insisted.
The woman didn’t object. She simply moved herself over to the edge of the bed, and gave some space to the man so that he could snuggle under his blanket. Placing his head into the soft embrace of his pillow, the man sighed with relief, but realized that he had forgotten to turn off the light. Reluctantly, he placed his feet on the cold floor, and switched off the light as fast as he could.
Darkness encompassed the bedroom of this young man, with only the faint light from the curtained window to provide any semblance of illumination. His eyes were closed and his breaths were calm, but his mind was adrift in a sea of contemplation. It was a quiet voyage, until it was disturbed by a ripple that arrived in a form of an awkward touch. However, the man knew that it was hers.
“Shall we cuddle?” he asked her.
“Wouldn’t that be uncomfortable for you?” she replied.
“No, of course not,” he lied.
His hands began to touch her, and the woman said nothing more. Slowly but surely, the man managed to fall into a deep slumber, drowned in a pool of his very own tears.
As the light of the sun seeped in from the gap of the curtains, the young man woke up to a perfectly clear vision, but an utterly hazy memory. The boundary between the reality and his dream, on the first day of the year, was as vague as his own uncertain future. The woman beside him was still sleeping, peacefully. So, he stared at her, and indulged himself in the lingering solace that was never meant to be.
When sobriety had finally taken a firm hold of the man’s soul, he dragged his feet to the bathroom, and awakened himself completely with a splash of the cold water. Going through the same routine every morning, he paid almost no attention to his actions, until he was back again in his own room to get dressed. He realized that the sleeping woman was no longer in the room, and the bed remained unmade. So, he made his bed, and put on one of his best outfits for the day. The mirror had only showed him the reflection of an ordinary man in his late twenties, but the man felt strangely optimistic to start his daily activities.
It was a public holiday, and the young man had a plan for it. He took his car key, and went down to the parking lot. Before he could enter his car, however, his phone rang with a short chime to notify him of a message. It was one of his close friends, Terrence.
‘Hey, are you coming?’
The young man replied him, swiftly, that he was about to get into his car. He hit the send button, and tucked his phone into his pocket.
It wasn’t a particularly long drive, because the road wasn’t as busy as a regular working day. Nevertheless, the mildly eager man wasn’t the first one who had arrived at their agreed meeting place.
“Bro!” Terrence greeted him. “Happy New Year!” In like manner, the young man greeted his friend, who was sitting by himself at their usual table. The cheerful atmosphere was truly a great help to start their conversation.
“Mark is over there, by the way,” said Terrence. “He is ordering his drink. You can get one too if you want.”
A quick glance revealed that a slightly chubby man was at the bar. He was talking with the bartender, but the young man had little interest to join him. “Where’s Jeff?” he asked his friend instead.
“Oh, my brother is picking up his girlfriend,” Terrence answered him, casually. “We didn’t go out together, but he should be arriving soon.” And just as those words had left his mouth, a group of young adults arrived in front of them, and they began to exchange their greetings with friendly smiles.
The group of friends talked and laughed with each other, while a few of them took turns around the billiard table. Time went by quickly, and the young man genuinely enjoyed their pleasant company. When their glasses were finally empty, their morning had been spent, and their stomachs began to beckon them for a meal.
“Let’s go grab something to eat," Carol suggested.
“Wow, it’s already lunch time,” the young man remarked.
“Yeah, why?” Jeff responded with a hint of curiosity. “Do you have other things to do?” But the young man simply shrugged, and told him that it was just a casual remark. Meanwhile, the others were happily deciding on where they should go to satisfy their hunger. They didn’t notice that there was one among them who had started to feel out of place. The men and women continued to speak, yet his ears were no longer listening.
The weather was great, and so they decided to walk to a nearby restaurant. The young man followed them, but his mind had drifted to a faraway place. As they sat down and discussed about what to choose from the menu, he merely picked his usual order. More chatter ensued while they waited for their food, and it was filled with various topics, such as some of their recent holiday trip, and even their New Year’s resolution.
“We should totally go catch a movie after this!” said Emma, excitedly.
“Ooh, what should we watch?” asked Terrence. The question triggered a debate to find something that everyone would be able to enjoy. Each one of them had something to say, but the young man was silent.
“What do you think, Bro?” Terrence decided to throw the question to his quiet friend.
“Ah, well, I think you guys should go ahead,” he declined, tactfully.
“You’re not coming with us?” asked Terrence with a tinge of disappointment.
“Yeah, I uh- have something else to do,” the young man answered. He couldn’t come up with any excuse, but his close friend didn’t pry any further.
When their plates were finally empty, the young man sat still until everybody was ready to leave. Perhaps it was a struggle between his desire to stay with them, even if it was just for a few minutes longer, and his capricious need to be alone. After the payment had been settled, the young man separated himself from the group. He walked back to his car, while the lingering sense of belonging had started to gradually fade away.
As the young man reached his vehicle, however, he saw that a familiar figure had been waiting for him. The woman leaned her back on the passenger door, and smiled at him with her crimson lips.
“Where have you been?” she asked him, softly. The woman didn’t raise this question out of concern. In fact, any answer from the young man wouldn’t have mattered to her.
“Lunch,” he replied, coldly.
The car was unlocked, and they went in without saying anything else. Silence hovered between the two of them, while the sound of music from the car stereo began to fill any remaining gap.
“Did you say something?” the man asked her, suddenly, after feeling that he had heard her voice in the middle of the loud music.
“Hmm, maybe I did,” she answered him. “And if you turn the volume down, you might be able to start listening to it.” However, the young man put his fingers on the volume knob and cranked it up instead.
“No,” he muttered. “At least, not now.”
Eventually, the young man arrived at a shopping mall. It was strange that he didn’t go home right away. The young man thought so too, for he had failed to realize that the reason for his impulsive decision was because of his instinctive inclination to get away from the woman who was standing next to him.
“Do you actually have anything that you want to buy?” she asked him, skeptically.
“Not really, but who knows?” he retorted. “Maybe I’ll see something that I want.”
They continued to walk, aimlessly, until they were standing in front of an instrument shop. Various brands of guitars and violins were lined up in the display cabinets, while a grand piano was conspicuously arranged on top of an elevated platform. The young man was enthralled by the sight of them, while the woman simply waited, patiently.
“Is there anything here that you like?” the young man asked her.
“Are you going to buy it for me?” the woman responded with excitement.
“Sure, why not?” he replied.
“But all I’ve ever wanted is you,” she whispered, seductively.
“Ooh, so sweet,” he began to mock her, because the man knew, the true meaning of those dangerous words.
While the two of them were engaged in their private conversation, they had failed to notice that a young woman was walking towards the young man. She seemed to recognize him from his profile, and even though she was unsure, she decided to approach him to get a closer look.
“Eric?” she called him with her hesitant voice. The young man turned his head to meet her tender gaze, and showed her a mild shock to dispel all of her temporary doubt.
“Julia?” he remembered her.
“Yes,” she smiled. “How have you been?”
“A lot has happened, obviously,” he chuckled, nervously. “We haven’t met each other for uh- more than ten years, I believe?”
“Of course,” she agreed. “Since the time we graduated from our high school.”
“You’re uhm- prettier now,” he blurted.
“Thank you,” she giggled, casually. “Are you here by yourself?”
“Yes, I am,” said Eric. “A-and you? Are you here by yourself too?”
“Well, yes, but my husband is going to pick me up soon,” she told him.
“Oh, you’re married?” Eric was surprised by the news.
“Yeah, it was last year,” she acknowledged it, shyly.
“I-I see,” the young man was lost for words.
Their eyes began to wander, yet they were reluctant to end their exchange. Countless happy memories started to emerge from the depth of their shared past, including all the immature moments that they had experienced with the rest of their old friends. Alas, it had all turned into a mere history through the passage of time, and there was nothing that any of them could do to turn back the hourglass of life.
“Do you still play the guitar?” asked Julia. Her voice brought them back to the present.
“I seldom have time for it anymore,” her old friend answered her, regretfully.
“That’s such a shame,” she remarked. “I liked it when you played the guitar.”
The rest of the chat seemed like a bunch of loose words that were dispersed as soon as they were spoken. The young man couldn’t remember every detail of it, except for the exhausted sigh that escaped from his mouth when they had finally parted. He went home immediately after that, and wasted no time at all to think back on everything that had happened on his ordinary, yet eventful day. And as he lay down all by himself on top of his warm bed, the presence of a familiar woman appeared, once again, in his silent bedroom. She was awfully patient, and cunningly quiet. She knew the perfect time to speak, and understood the moment when he was weak.
“What’s wrong?” she whispered with her silky voice.
“Nothing,” he said.
“You can’t fool me,” she snickered.
“Of course, I can’t,” he scoffed. “So why did you even bother to ask?”
“Because I know,” she sighed, sorrowfully, “that the problem is me.”
The sudden declaration caught the young man by surprise. But even when he knew that she was right, he no longer had the strength to reject her cryptic invitation. The woman had him in the palm of her hand, and it was finally the time for her to reap her harvest.
“Perhaps, it would be better for you, if I were to leave,” she said.
“No, please,” he begged her. “Please, don’t leave me.”
“Staying with me is just going to hurt you, Eric,” she grinned.
“I know, I know,” he acknowledged her statement. “But I can’t help it, so, please, please.”
The emotional man moved closer to her, and attempted to embrace her. Needless to say, the woman sat still and didn’t show any form of resistance. She merely gave him a warning – one that didn’t feel threatening at all. In fact, it was irresistibly alluring.
“If you touch me, you’re going to cry,” she whispered.
“And that is what I seek,” he muttered under his breath.
Tears started to flow, uncontrollably, and his muffled sob continued to seep into his pillow, until the lonely man had cried himself to sleep. It was a tragic scene that had been witnessed by the cold woman for too many times. Loneliness was always there to caress him with her frosty touch, and she had never declined her chance to comfort him with her forbidden companionship. It was comforting, yet uncomfortable. Familiar, yet distant. Soothing, yet painful.
~ Second Edition, by D.S. Rain